Suzaku's Sin
by Cecilia Waters
Summary: It's a story of Suzaku's sin...the murder of his father and how he tries to erase it.


This is a story that I really wanted to be able to tell. It's short and sweet and I hope I did it justice. The story of Suzaku's sin.

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**Suzaku's Sin**

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"Suzaku." Lelouch called from his throne.

"Yes, your Majesty." Suzaku answered as he kneeled before his Emperor.

"Now is the time for you to fulfill your promise to me Suzaku." Lelouch said calmly, firmly, plainly.

Suzaku bowed his head further and said "Yes, your Majesty." Even as the words left his lips the emerald eyed boy could feel his throat constrict painfully as his eyes took on a worried countenance at the task that lay before him.

--- jump to past ---

Stage direction: Setting is the scene where Suzaku and Zero/Lelouch face off after Suzaku's Lancelot is disabled due to the Gefjun Disturber.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch cried as he stared his best friend, and his worst enemy, in the face. "How dare you tell me such a thing! How dare you say that it is _I_ who is imposing my own selfish will upon the Japanese people? How dare you when you yourself _stole_ the ability of the Japanese to determine their own fate by committing patricide, upon your own father!"

Suzaku could do nothing as he stared at his friend, a thoroughly shocked expression upon his face as he frantically worked to understand how Lelouch could have learned of his terrible sin, something he had told absolutely _no one _about.

"Zero." Suzaku said looking the masked terrorist calmly in the eyes. "It is true that I forced the Japanese people to surrender by murdering their leader, my father. However, my sin created a peace that I am proud of and so similarly I plan on committing one more sin, the murder of a friend, to once again restore peace to my beloved country."

Lelouch's eyes grew wide beneath his Zero mask as the weight of what Suzaku was implying hit him. "So" Lelouch said angrily with a sharp edge to his voice "you plan on killing _me_ to once again subject the Japanese to the tyrannical rule of Britannia?"

"Yes" Suzaku replied voice and eyes equally empty of emotion.

Zero chuckled softly beneath the mask. "And what my dear Suzaku makes you believe that you will be able to achieve such a thing? When the entire Britannian army has been incapable of defeating me for all this time?"

"It is quite simple _Lelouch"_ Suzaku said with steel in his voice and sad resolve in his eyes. "I _promise _you that your death will come by my hands. We are friends after all and I know all the weakness of Lelouch that Zero tries so hard to hide. I _will_ murder you so that all the deaths you have caused will not have been in vain, so that you can no longer cause suffering to those around you." Suzaku paused then added quite faintly "I can only hope that by erasing your tainted existence my sin may be diminished."

"Your punishment for your sins will _never_ be enough!" Lelouch screamed at Suzaku, hoping to make the boy balk and trying to drown out the voice that told Lelouch that _his own sins would never be forgiven either._

"You may be right Lelouch" Suzaku said sadly "but I will willingly die right now as punishment for my sins if it means I can restore peace to my country by causing your death." Then, quick as lightening, Suzaku grabbed Lelouch and dragged him into the cockpit of the Lancelot.

Suzaku looked triumphant as he informed Lelouch that even as they spoke the Avalon itself was on its way to vaporize the area…and Lelouch along with it.

Lelouch's eyes widened as he pleaded with his friend "Please Suzaku, they're going to kill you too. Doesn't that bother you?!" _It bothers me_ Lelouch thought quietly to himself.

"No!" Suzaku said, as much to destroy Lelouch's hope of escape as to steel his own resolve. "I will die, and atone for my sin, even as I commit one more…" _the murder of a friend _

As the Avalon hovered above their heads Lelouch, cornered in Suzaku's Lancelot at gunpoint, could do nothing but say "You're the only one I didn't want to use it on!" _it's the only sin I didn't want to commit._ he opened the slot in his helmet and ordered Suzaku to Live On!

--- jump to present ---

And as millions of people looked on Suzaku brought the heavy blade closer to the heart of his dearest friend. The heft of the blade made Suzaku remember how he had, so many years ago, drove a much lighter blade into the body of his father. He remembered the shocked look on his father's face and the blood that seeped out wet and warm onto his hands from the depths of his father's chest. Suzaku's eyes teared up as he realized that he was about to commit the one sin he never wanted to, the one sin he had promised to fulfill, the one sin he would _never ever_ be able to atone for, _the murder of a friend._ Suzaku had to bite back disgust as this blade slid into Lelouch just as easily as the smaller one had, the familiar look of shock spread across his friend's face, and as the cursed red syrup flowed onto his hands once again. Suzaku fulfilled his promise of _the murder of a friend._ These people, these multitudes would bear witness to his eternal guilt, and worse, they would praise him for it, even as they so hated the man whose sins might yet be forgiven, whose sins had bought the world's salvation.

Lelouch understood the weight of Suzaku's sin, the hopelessness the man now felt when he was faced with the prospect of an eternity having to live with the guilt of his unforgivable actions. And so Lelouch gave his friend, not forgiveness, but in his dying breaths he gave Suzaku an eternal punishment, so that Suzaku could find solace, if not salvation in the long years to come. "Suzaku" Lelouch whispered warmly into his friends ear "this too shall be a punishment. You will live on, not as Suzaku Kururugi but as Zero."

Suzaku could not take, no, did not _deserve_ his friends kindness. None-the-less Suzaku replied "I accept that Geass." And withdrew the blade from the body of his friend, completing the promise, and sealing his fate, cementing his sin and his punishment, _forever._

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So this fic was really supposed to be about Suzaku. I think there is something very compelling about his murder of his father and I think it's fair to say that that action made Suzaku a lot of what he is throughout the anime. I'm not sure I did a great job but I'm satisfied. I'd love to read other stories that deal with this issue and I hope you'll review mine. Also I probably didn't get what the characters said verbatim but in some cases I changed what and when they said it to fit this story so I thought it would be a little silly to try to quote when I was messing with what they said in the first place…if that makes sense…

I didn't put much of an A/N at the beginning because I didn't want to distract from the story. So here's the disclaimer now

Code Geass and it's characters belong to CLAMP not me. Watch the anime cause it's amazing. Please don't sue me.

**Are you waiting **

**Are you paying **

**Realize **

**Start hiding **

From "Breath"


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